It doesn't matter what you've done, where you've been or how long you've been gone. God has not forgotten you and He certainly hasn't given up on you. The mere fact that you're wondering about Him and how He feels about you is proof of that. You see, we only come to God when He calls us. If you're thinking about your eternal soul and wondering if you can come back to God, it's only because He's causing you to wonder. The devil doesn't want you thinking about God. And your flesh (that includes your natural mind)doesn't want you to think about God. God is calling to your spirit. That is the part of you that is like Him and it's the part of you He talks to.
I know about those feelings you're having. When you know you've been saved by His grace and then you've wandered away from Him, you wonder if it's too late to go back or even if it's possible to go back! Your mind will tell you that you've waited too long and sinned too many times for God to care about you. The devil wants you to feel shame, the kind of shame that keeps you from talking to God, the kind of shame Adam and Eve felt when they hid from God in Garden of Eden. The devil knows that if you go to God and repent and ask to be forgiven, you will be!
God's mercies are new every day. He's willing to forgive and forget and love you like it never happened. As a matter of fact, He's never once stopped loving you! He may not have been pleased with your lifestyle and your actions, but He's never stopped loving you. And He's been waiting for you to return to Him. That's why those thoughts of Him are there in your spirit. He's calling!